We should all be a feminist by chimamanda Adichie
I n 2003, I wrote a novel called Purple Hibiscus , about a man
who, among other things, beats his wife, and whose story
doesn't end too well. While I was promoting the novel in
Nigeria, a journalist, a nice, well-meaning man, told me he
wanted to advise me. (Nigerians, as you might know, are
very quick to give unsolicited advice.) He told me that people
were saying my novel was feminist, and his advice to me –
he was shaking his head sadly as he spoke – was that I
should never call myself a feminist, since feminists are
women who are unhappy because they cannot find
husbands.
So I decided to call myself a Happy Feminist.
Then an academic, a Nigerian woman, told me that
feminism was not our culture, that feminism was un-African
and I was only calling myself a feminist because I had been
influenced by western books. (Which amused me, because
much of my early reading was decidedly unfeminist: I must
have read every single Mills & Boon romance published
before I was 16. And each time I try to read those books
called "classic feminist texts", I get bored, and I struggle to
finish them.)
Anyway, since feminism was un-African, I decided I would
now call myself a Happy African Feminist. Then a dear
friend told me that calling myself a feminist meant that I
hated men. So I decided I would now be a Happy African
Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men. At some point I was a
Happy African Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men And Who
Likes To Wear Lip Gloss And High Heels For Herself And Not
For Men.
Gender matters everywhere in the world. But it is time we
should begin to dream about and plan for a different world.
A fairer world. A world of happier men and happier women
who are truer to themselves.
Gender is not an easy conversation to have. It makes
people uncomfortable, sometimes even irritable. Both men
and women are resistant to talk about gender, or are quick
to dismiss the problems of gender. Because thinking of
changing the status quo is always uncomfortable.
Some people ask, "Why the word feminist ? Why not just say
you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?"
Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course,
part of human rights in general – but to choose to use the
vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and
particular problem of gender. It would be a way of
pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries,
been excluded. It would be a way of denying that the
problem of gender targets women. That the problem was
not about being human, but specifically about being a
female human. For centuries, the world divided human
beings into two groups and then proceeded to exclude and
oppress one group. It is only fair that the solution to the
problem should acknowledge that.
Some men feel threatened by the idea of feminism. This
comes, I think, from the insecurity triggered by how boys
are brought up, how their sense of self-worth is diminished
if they are not "naturally" in charge as men.
Other men might respond by saying, "Okay, this is
interesting, but I don't think like that. I don't even think
about gender."
Maybe not.
And that is part of the problem. That many men do not
actively think about gender or notice gender. That many men
say that things might have been bad in the past but
everything is fine now. And that many men do nothing to
change it. If you are a man and you walk into a restaurant
and the waiter greets just you, does it occur to you to ask
the waiter, "Why have you not greeted her?" Men need to
speak out in all of these ostensibly small situations.
Because gender can be uncomfortable, there are easy ways
to close this conversation. Some people will bring up
evolutionary biology and apes, how female apes bow to
male apes – that sort of thing. But the point is this: we are
not apes. Apes also live in trees and eat earthworms. We do
not. Some people will say, "Well, poor men also have a hard
time." And they do.
But that is not what this conversation is about. Gender and
class are different. Poor men still have the privileges of
being men, even if they do not have the privileges of being
wealthy. I learned a lot about systems of oppression and
how they can be blind to one another by talking to black
men. I was once talking about gender and a man said to me,
"Why does it have to be you as a woman? Why not you as a
human being?" This type of question is a way of silencing a
person's specific experiences. Of course I am a human
being, but there are particular things that happen to me in
the world because I am a woman. This same man, by the
way, would often talk about his experience as a black man.
(To which I should probably have responded, "Why not your
experiences as a man or as a human being? Why a black
man?")
So, no, this conversation is about gender. Some people will
say, "Oh, but women have the real power: bottom
power." (This is a Nigerian expression for a woman who
uses her sexuality to get things from men.) But bottom
power is not power at all, because the woman with bottom
power is actually not powerful; she just has a good route to
tap another person's power. And then what happens if the
man is in a bad mood or sick or temporarily impotent?
Some people will say a woman is subordinate to men
because it's our culture. But culture is constantly changing.
I have beautiful twin nieces who are 15. If they had been
born a hundred years ago, they would have been taken away
and killed. Because a hundred years ago, Igbo culture
considered the birth of twins to be an evil omen. Today that
practice is unimaginable to all Igbo people.
What is the point of culture? Culture functions ultimately to
ensure the preservation and continuity of a people. In my
family, I am the child who is most interested in the story of
who we are, in ancestral lands, in our tradition. My brothers
are not as interested as I am. But I cannot participate,
because Igbo culture privileges men, and only the male
members of the extended family can attend the meetings
where major family decisions are taken. So although I am
the one who is most interested in these things, I cannot
attend the meeting. I cannot have a formal say. Because I
am female.
Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is
true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then
we can and must make it our culture.
My great-grandmother, from stories I've heard, was a
feminist. She ran away from the house of the man she did
not want to marry and married the man of her choice. She
refused, protested, spoke up whenever she felt she was
being deprived of land and access because she was female.
She did not know that word feminist . But it doesn't mean
she wasn't one. More of us should reclaim that word. My
own definition of a feminist is a man or a woman who says,
"Yes, there's a problem with gender as it is today and we
must fix it, we must do better."
All of us, women and men, must do better.
who, among other things, beats his wife, and whose story
doesn't end too well. While I was promoting the novel in
Nigeria, a journalist, a nice, well-meaning man, told me he
wanted to advise me. (Nigerians, as you might know, are
very quick to give unsolicited advice.) He told me that people
were saying my novel was feminist, and his advice to me –
he was shaking his head sadly as he spoke – was that I
should never call myself a feminist, since feminists are
women who are unhappy because they cannot find
husbands.
Then an academic, a Nigerian woman, told me that
feminism was not our culture, that feminism was un-African
and I was only calling myself a feminist because I had been
influenced by western books. (Which amused me, because
much of my early reading was decidedly unfeminist: I must
have read every single Mills & Boon romance published
before I was 16. And each time I try to read those books
called "classic feminist texts", I get bored, and I struggle to
finish them.)
Anyway, since feminism was un-African, I decided I would
now call myself a Happy African Feminist. Then a dear
friend told me that calling myself a feminist meant that I
hated men. So I decided I would now be a Happy African
Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men. At some point I was a
Happy African Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men And Who
Likes To Wear Lip Gloss And High Heels For Herself And Not
For Men.
Gender matters everywhere in the world. But it is time we
should begin to dream about and plan for a different world.
A fairer world. A world of happier men and happier women
who are truer to themselves.
Gender is not an easy conversation to have. It makes
people uncomfortable, sometimes even irritable. Both men
and women are resistant to talk about gender, or are quick
to dismiss the problems of gender. Because thinking of
changing the status quo is always uncomfortable.
Some people ask, "Why the word feminist ? Why not just say
you are a believer in human rights, or something like that?"
Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course,
part of human rights in general – but to choose to use the
vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and
particular problem of gender. It would be a way of
pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries,
been excluded. It would be a way of denying that the
problem of gender targets women. That the problem was
not about being human, but specifically about being a
female human. For centuries, the world divided human
beings into two groups and then proceeded to exclude and
oppress one group. It is only fair that the solution to the
problem should acknowledge that.
Some men feel threatened by the idea of feminism. This
comes, I think, from the insecurity triggered by how boys
are brought up, how their sense of self-worth is diminished
if they are not "naturally" in charge as men.
Other men might respond by saying, "Okay, this is
interesting, but I don't think like that. I don't even think
about gender."
Maybe not.
And that is part of the problem. That many men do not
actively think about gender or notice gender. That many men
say that things might have been bad in the past but
everything is fine now. And that many men do nothing to
change it. If you are a man and you walk into a restaurant
and the waiter greets just you, does it occur to you to ask
the waiter, "Why have you not greeted her?" Men need to
speak out in all of these ostensibly small situations.
Because gender can be uncomfortable, there are easy ways
to close this conversation. Some people will bring up
evolutionary biology and apes, how female apes bow to
male apes – that sort of thing. But the point is this: we are
not apes. Apes also live in trees and eat earthworms. We do
not. Some people will say, "Well, poor men also have a hard
time." And they do.
But that is not what this conversation is about. Gender and
class are different. Poor men still have the privileges of
being men, even if they do not have the privileges of being
wealthy. I learned a lot about systems of oppression and
how they can be blind to one another by talking to black
men. I was once talking about gender and a man said to me,
"Why does it have to be you as a woman? Why not you as a
human being?" This type of question is a way of silencing a
person's specific experiences. Of course I am a human
being, but there are particular things that happen to me in
the world because I am a woman. This same man, by the
way, would often talk about his experience as a black man.
(To which I should probably have responded, "Why not your
experiences as a man or as a human being? Why a black
man?")
So, no, this conversation is about gender. Some people will
say, "Oh, but women have the real power: bottom
power." (This is a Nigerian expression for a woman who
uses her sexuality to get things from men.) But bottom
power is not power at all, because the woman with bottom
power is actually not powerful; she just has a good route to
tap another person's power. And then what happens if the
man is in a bad mood or sick or temporarily impotent?
Some people will say a woman is subordinate to men
because it's our culture. But culture is constantly changing.
I have beautiful twin nieces who are 15. If they had been
born a hundred years ago, they would have been taken away
and killed. Because a hundred years ago, Igbo culture
considered the birth of twins to be an evil omen. Today that
practice is unimaginable to all Igbo people.
What is the point of culture? Culture functions ultimately to
ensure the preservation and continuity of a people. In my
family, I am the child who is most interested in the story of
who we are, in ancestral lands, in our tradition. My brothers
are not as interested as I am. But I cannot participate,
because Igbo culture privileges men, and only the male
members of the extended family can attend the meetings
where major family decisions are taken. So although I am
the one who is most interested in these things, I cannot
attend the meeting. I cannot have a formal say. Because I
am female.
Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is
true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then
we can and must make it our culture.
My great-grandmother, from stories I've heard, was a
feminist. She ran away from the house of the man she did
not want to marry and married the man of her choice. She
refused, protested, spoke up whenever she felt she was
being deprived of land and access because she was female.
She did not know that word feminist . But it doesn't mean
she wasn't one. More of us should reclaim that word. My
own definition of a feminist is a man or a woman who says,
"Yes, there's a problem with gender as it is today and we
must fix it, we must do better."
All of us, women and men, must do better.
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