Destitution Of The Aged
DESTITUTION OF THE AGED
I really do wonder why people see scenes in movies and shed tears of pains and sorrow. I'm always startled when I see them crying for a mere "acted" drama. As for me, apart from reading a very sensitive part of the Holy Book or by the death of a loved one; nothing more ever brings tears to my eyes than the privation of old people.
You must have realised that I mostly write on personal experiences. I do reside in Ilàjẹ́ (Bariga) with friends, for the sake of schooling and inability to acquire an hostel space within campus, UNILAG; A typical "face me I slap you" apartment (as Nigerians would call it). A very old woman (Mama), most probably an octogenarian resides here; the mother of one of the tenants, clothed roughly, wrinkled scaly and whitened but dark complexioned skin, mostly barefooted, completely grey low-cut hair and brows... The sight of her alone strikes a burden of pity in my heart at every instance.
Yesterday noon, at the verandah, there we sat as I preferred the outside for there was no power supply. There, I had greeted Mama and afterwards, as a very old woman, she had made much of incoherent speeches to me but I answered her incoherences with enthusiasm and smile on my face for I fear that I'd offend her if I showed any sign of my being confused about her obscure statements. Periodically too, she would talk to herself in whispers as she bent forward and rested her elbows on her laps, constantly rubbing her palms together and clapping them once in a while as she soliloquised.
There, her grand daughter (probably my peer), passed by and Mama recognised her and requested that she needed to urinate as soon as possible. "Go now!", she exclaimed at the rising oldie. Then the old woman said in a very tragic tone this time, "please, accompany me for I'll need a kettle of water". Like the first reply, she said angrily "go! I will come and meet you" while she looked scornfully at the old woman and hissed heavily. My sorrowful feeling knew no bound when I looked at Mama's face. She looked at her granddaughter as she walked away in profound anger; she looked downwards at the floor, standing there for a while and finally decided to leave by herself in order to urinate. It had seemed she couldn't hold it any longer. I watched her moved down from the elevated pavement of the verandah as she meekly held the wall for support and crept away. I was paralysed where I was seated, neither able to assist nor even knowing what to do entirely. This scene filled my eyes with tears but I tried as much as possible to contain them in my eyelids so they doesn't drop.
After a while (immediately mama left after waiting long enough), she (granddaughter), eventually came back with a kettle of water and I said to her angrily, still with the tears hanging in my eye sockets "why should you talk to her like that?". She replied with a puzzled face, "excuse me?"... So I repeated myself and angrier this time, so the tears I had feared from dropping had to drop from my eyes because they had accumulated and could no longer be contained by my eyelids. I swiftly turned down my head in order to hide my dropping tears while I wiped them with my hands. She realised redness of my eyes as I raised my head again but couldn't link it with the initial happening. This had calmed the effect of her potential fury for she asked "something with your eyes?"... I told her to never mind and repeated the question. She replied " wàhálà màmá ti pọju jare!" As she walked away to give her the kettle... Meaning (mama's trouble is too much).
I do see old people on the roads, with backs no longer erect, some toothless, some take a step one after the other and no faster than Tortoises or Chameleons. They are either begging, hawking kolanuts or similar petty stuffs, scavenging for empty bottles to gather, what for? I can't say. All I know is I'm helpless in feelings when I see them and I try to help financially as I can but it never eases their destitution.
I would wonder, " do not these old people have children or family? Whats wrong?". But what's really wrong? Things like the above narrated event could be wrong! Such attitude against them could lead them out to seek independence or adventure to terminate boredom from a life of solitude since they are usually ignored.
Old people, through the years have loosed rigidity, strength, fortitude, self-consciousness, cognition and even psychometric abilities. Thus, their overall actions seem like one struck by a "reducto" or "stupefy" spell wand (like in Harry Potter Series). They were once babies and have physically being returned to that condition; toothless, babbling, incoherency in speech, shallow thoughts, sluggish response and even continuous repetition of statements... just like babies in the cradle, an ironical rejuvenation!
This behaviour of theirs can tempt one to be aggressive at them but nay! It is a taboo to disregard old people. I don't need to be too contextually orthodoxical but may I remind that no religion of the world doesn't have "reverence of the greys" as one it's doctrines. Thus, woe awaits the one who doesn't revere the old ones by what these doctrines inculcate.
Even if it weren't an orthodoxical concept, what ruthless and merciless children, after coming of age would experience the agedness of either or both of their parents and wouldn't care about them? Have they forgotten how much love and care these parents showered on them when they themselves were weak and helpless, till they grew? Have they forgotten the much struggle and suffering they went through to raise them? Have they lost recognition of much sacrifices for their sake? Some people even pray for their old parents to die quickly so they can be free from continuing the inadequate care they give to them. Some talk back aggressively at and maltreat them. What a disdain!
It should not be forgotten that we will also be like them someday if we are divinely granted longevity of life. Thus, family or not, related or not, we must be regardful and merciful to the aged when we come across them and not forget that their curses are full of woes but their prayers to God for someone are full of blessings...
Chiwuzo Alexandre Owolabi aka Dré,
University of Lagos ,
Faculty of Education ,
Economics Education (400l).
I really do wonder why people see scenes in movies and shed tears of pains and sorrow. I'm always startled when I see them crying for a mere "acted" drama. As for me, apart from reading a very sensitive part of the Holy Book or by the death of a loved one; nothing more ever brings tears to my eyes than the privation of old people.
You must have realised that I mostly write on personal experiences. I do reside in Ilàjẹ́ (Bariga) with friends, for the sake of schooling and inability to acquire an hostel space within campus, UNILAG; A typical "face me I slap you" apartment (as Nigerians would call it). A very old woman (Mama), most probably an octogenarian resides here; the mother of one of the tenants, clothed roughly, wrinkled scaly and whitened but dark complexioned skin, mostly barefooted, completely grey low-cut hair and brows... The sight of her alone strikes a burden of pity in my heart at every instance.
Yesterday noon, at the verandah, there we sat as I preferred the outside for there was no power supply. There, I had greeted Mama and afterwards, as a very old woman, she had made much of incoherent speeches to me but I answered her incoherences with enthusiasm and smile on my face for I fear that I'd offend her if I showed any sign of my being confused about her obscure statements. Periodically too, she would talk to herself in whispers as she bent forward and rested her elbows on her laps, constantly rubbing her palms together and clapping them once in a while as she soliloquised.
There, her grand daughter (probably my peer), passed by and Mama recognised her and requested that she needed to urinate as soon as possible. "Go now!", she exclaimed at the rising oldie. Then the old woman said in a very tragic tone this time, "please, accompany me for I'll need a kettle of water". Like the first reply, she said angrily "go! I will come and meet you" while she looked scornfully at the old woman and hissed heavily. My sorrowful feeling knew no bound when I looked at Mama's face. She looked at her granddaughter as she walked away in profound anger; she looked downwards at the floor, standing there for a while and finally decided to leave by herself in order to urinate. It had seemed she couldn't hold it any longer. I watched her moved down from the elevated pavement of the verandah as she meekly held the wall for support and crept away. I was paralysed where I was seated, neither able to assist nor even knowing what to do entirely. This scene filled my eyes with tears but I tried as much as possible to contain them in my eyelids so they doesn't drop.
After a while (immediately mama left after waiting long enough), she (granddaughter), eventually came back with a kettle of water and I said to her angrily, still with the tears hanging in my eye sockets "why should you talk to her like that?". She replied with a puzzled face, "excuse me?"... So I repeated myself and angrier this time, so the tears I had feared from dropping had to drop from my eyes because they had accumulated and could no longer be contained by my eyelids. I swiftly turned down my head in order to hide my dropping tears while I wiped them with my hands. She realised redness of my eyes as I raised my head again but couldn't link it with the initial happening. This had calmed the effect of her potential fury for she asked "something with your eyes?"... I told her to never mind and repeated the question. She replied " wàhálà màmá ti pọju jare!" As she walked away to give her the kettle... Meaning (mama's trouble is too much).
I do see old people on the roads, with backs no longer erect, some toothless, some take a step one after the other and no faster than Tortoises or Chameleons. They are either begging, hawking kolanuts or similar petty stuffs, scavenging for empty bottles to gather, what for? I can't say. All I know is I'm helpless in feelings when I see them and I try to help financially as I can but it never eases their destitution.
I would wonder, " do not these old people have children or family? Whats wrong?". But what's really wrong? Things like the above narrated event could be wrong! Such attitude against them could lead them out to seek independence or adventure to terminate boredom from a life of solitude since they are usually ignored.
Old people, through the years have loosed rigidity, strength, fortitude, self-consciousness, cognition and even psychometric abilities. Thus, their overall actions seem like one struck by a "reducto" or "stupefy" spell wand (like in Harry Potter Series). They were once babies and have physically being returned to that condition; toothless, babbling, incoherency in speech, shallow thoughts, sluggish response and even continuous repetition of statements... just like babies in the cradle, an ironical rejuvenation!
This behaviour of theirs can tempt one to be aggressive at them but nay! It is a taboo to disregard old people. I don't need to be too contextually orthodoxical but may I remind that no religion of the world doesn't have "reverence of the greys" as one it's doctrines. Thus, woe awaits the one who doesn't revere the old ones by what these doctrines inculcate.
Even if it weren't an orthodoxical concept, what ruthless and merciless children, after coming of age would experience the agedness of either or both of their parents and wouldn't care about them? Have they forgotten how much love and care these parents showered on them when they themselves were weak and helpless, till they grew? Have they forgotten the much struggle and suffering they went through to raise them? Have they lost recognition of much sacrifices for their sake? Some people even pray for their old parents to die quickly so they can be free from continuing the inadequate care they give to them. Some talk back aggressively at and maltreat them. What a disdain!
It should not be forgotten that we will also be like them someday if we are divinely granted longevity of life. Thus, family or not, related or not, we must be regardful and merciful to the aged when we come across them and not forget that their curses are full of woes but their prayers to God for someone are full of blessings...
Chiwuzo Alexandre Owolabi aka Dré,
University of Lagos ,
Faculty of Education ,
Economics Education (400l).
Comments